Do As I Say Not As I Do

I always say practice what you preach, even when behind closed doors.

Why I say that in the spirit of international women’s day.

I want to talk about my own personal experience, and encounters with fellow women , so therefore  this post  will explain partly the reasons behind my short-lived political career.

What I  noticed a small majority of the women you see on Tv spouting passionate monologues about how they want to empower women.

Are the same type of women that will pass you in the corridors without a second glance.

In other words, the hypocrisy just unnerves me.

I have to admit most of the people that put me down in politics were women.

The only mentors I had were me myself and I and my mum, which was very uneasy, as trust me when you enter the lion’s den, which is politics you need support or you’d be easy prey.

I remember when I  approached a  female official during a gala to exchange pleasantries, and she said to me in front of witnesses” I will only shake your hand when you win your election”, and she chuckled with her entourage, and walked off.

I truly wanted the ground to swallow me up at that exact moment.

I remember another time , another woman politician saying to me when we took a group photo  “I want you to get in the back of the photo, and not pose beside me”.

 I bet your thinking why did I take that.

I come to the conclusion maybe it was due to age naivety and not wanting to  tread on anyone’s toes.

But truly I had to admit to myself “how can you stand up for your constituents if you can’t even  stand up for yourself.”

I ended up coming up with mantras that can be applied to everyday life.

“You have to stand up for yourself”, as sadly not all the time will people come to your aid, and “don’t ever meet people with high expectations, always expect the worst, and hope for people to prove you wrong”.

 I also realized my laid-back approach isn’t always good, as people will walk all over you.

Being a woman, you have to be able to stand your ground wherever you are , while still having the balance of being respectful.

Staying silent on the narrative that “all women wish good for fellow women”, to me allows the hypocrisy cycle to stay full circle, and someone has to break it.

We have to be able to hold those   “woman crusaders”  to account, and probe what physical efforts do you do to empower your fellow woman?, and do we have any real woman unions, and committees in the UK that are effective for positive change?

Don’t get me wrong there are lots of feminists and women politicians  all over the world that are genuinely passionate for more gender equality and unity that do mentorship, but unfortunately during my career, I had few encounters with women of that pedigree, and that truly saddens me.

I think we can agree we women are very nurturing human beings.

 We have maternal instincts, but are also were very protective and territorial.

So, for example, I believe when an established woman politician sees a new woman entering the political arena, they could probably jump to hasty conclusions “will I be on the scrapheap”, as sadly it is a fact ageism and sexism still exists in politics, so to me  there is a sense of vulnerability instead of real vindictiveness in regard to fear of more “woman empowerment”, but we women should be building each other  up ,and not bringing each other down.

We should be opening doors not closing them.

But I won’t deny women have come up leaps and bounds from years ago in politics.

There use to be a presumption that you have to sleep your way to get to the top, but I can stress the fact during my duration in politics. I witnessed strong women working tirelessly hard in their committees , and singlehandedly making positive changes for their communities.

Lastly what I notice we talk about the gender gap and mistreatment in the workplace by men, as it’s easier than facing the “real  truth”.

 That maybe a  woman can be the downfall of a fellow woman.

It’s a scary possibility, but maybe it’s a scenario we have to address, and not just dress up the facts.